Smith Hill Chronicles
Smith Hill Chronicles
It happens when you least expect it.
Watching a movie, reading a book or magazine....just now on the TV, a scene of Nuclear War in a Sci Fi movie. The character says:
"Sharon, look at those clouds and tell me this isn't the end of everything".
Across the room, sitting at my computer, hearing this, I am suddenly convulsing, choking with tears. Even now, they are trying to come out and roll down my cheeks.
The VA says that since I was never IN "combat", I can't be treated for PTSD.
I was on Combat Crew.
I worked in a Nuclear Missile Silo, with the biggest Nuke we had in our arsenal at the time. If we had gone to war while I was on duty, I would have been responsible for the fiery deaths of millions, and an agonizing aftermath. We were in a perpetual state of "almost war". ready to react at a moment's notice.
Don't tell ME, "I wasn't in combat"
My life has become such a whirlwind; I really MUST find some way to get a handle on things. I know that we can't ALWAYS understand how or why things happen, and we SURELY can't control much of anything beyond the reach of our own arms.
I am so grateful for all those who put up with my temper, my irritability, and who continue to give me opportunities to improve.
Life came be so daunting, it becomes a chore sometimes just to put one foot in front of the other, but you must keep chugging away.
I won't know the results of the labs today until I see Primary Care on Monday, but my meeting with my therapist was...unexpected. First, just about time for him to come get me, and attractive young lady called 'Smith'? I said 'Jerry Smith?" she came over and I said "you're not Dr Driscoll" everyone laughed.
She handed me a note that said: "Running behind 15 minutes". 30 minutes later I went in search of that young lady, found her behind one of the desks, she called, and said he was about to leave his office to get me.
I didn't hear any explanation of the delay, but he (as they always do) asked me how I had been, and it began.
This has been a year of severe ups and downs, with the downs seeming to have the upper hand (is that an oxymoron?) First came the loss of my remaining teeth, to be replaced with ill fitting dentures, and while I was still getting accustomed to them, there was the wreck which took my car, but thankfully, did not injure me nor damage my equipment.
I ran a "GoFundMe" campaign, which raised enough money for me to get another vehicle, which is really better suited to my needs, only more room by a LONG shot than I need (again, one extreme to the other; the Mercedes was totally unsuited to hauling my ♫music ♪gear, but I made do). I had real hopes of getting a 2008 Chevy HHR, it looked sharp and would have made a memorable impression on anyone seeing me in it, it got far better mpg than what I had, and what I have now ( a 2003 Chrysler Town and Country) and it was smaller, yet with plenty of room for what I needed it to do.
Alas, that was not meant to be, as I couldn't raise enough funds for that buy, not by half. So far, I've spent almost half as much on tires, brake repairs etc on this new (to me) van as I paid for it in the first place.
My ♫music♪ business is picking back up, but not nearly up to the level of one year ago. Still, this is my gift, my passion and it is what I want to do, if I can just get enough clients to do at least one performance a day, five days a week. I would be one happy camper!
This is my goal. I will try to be better in keeping you all updated.
About the author:
I write poetry, which I hope is inspirational.
I am also a working musician, in that I am an old guy who is still making money working and playing music.
I've been playing now for 51 yrs
These days I mainly play for older folks in Nursing Home, Assisted Living and Retirement Communities, plus the occasional party or wedding.